Pages

Thursday, 3 September 2020

Composition blog post thingy

 3/09/2020 

In Year 11 music, I am working alongside my friend Kiera to compose a song. 

What type of song are you composing? We are an original song about a breakup situation. We kind of made it up at the moment and it been really working that way. 

Which part of the composition are you writing first? We are writing the lyrics first. That way we are able to create a melody in a good way. 

What are you working on this week? We are aiming to finish the lyrics of the song by the end of the week. 


10/9/2020

How is our composition coming along? After some feedback from Mrs Beer, Kiera and I have decided to switch some of the lyrics around in order to create a more flowing song. We have decided to use one of our previous 'pre-chorus' as our chorus because it will make the song memorable. 

What are we aiming to complete this week? We are aiming to have our lyrics secure and flow nicely. 


Tuesday, 25 August 2020

LV1 Solo Assessment feedbacky stuff

For my NCEA LV1 Music Solo performance, I did a song and it was scary and I was terrified. All jokes aside I think I did pretty okay especially considering I don't usually sing by myself. I sang Death is Just Around the Corner from the Addams Family Musical. This was a very dramatic piece that I think that I pulled off pretty well. Heres my performance, if you want to watch it, you can, you don't have to though. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1WCtV6gQfzI5uTtpVYIroc1CmtxsRoGyu/view?usp=sharing 

Why did I choose this song? 
Well, I really like musical theatre and the dramatic side of music. I really like performing and dramatic art. I also have a soft spot for The Addams Family series and movies, they're really cool, you should watch them. 

Am I happy with my final performance? 
It was okay, other than the ATROCIOUS note at the end, I think it was okay.  I did alright, it wasn't horrible but it could be better. I think I did pretty well on the drama side but should focus more on the singing side. I got an Excellence on my first try which was pretty cool. 

What did you find challenging? 
I found that the final high note at the end of the song was my breaking point. Getting from that lower register in my voice to the higher register was hard. I performed the song well but the final note kinda ruined it. 

The performance goal for solo 2.
My performance goal is to focus less on the performance side of my performance and more on the singing part. My vocal teacher says I also need to work on my vocal technique. I need to work on the placement of my voice and where the sound is coming from. I also need to work on opening my mouth to get that louder and fuller sound out. The song I am going to sing for my second solo is That Don't Impress Me Much by Shania Twain. This is a pretty cool song with some nice notes in it so I think I will be okay with that.  

Wednesday, 29 July 2020

Pathos, Lathos and Ethos -- English LV1

In English, we are learning about persuasive writing. here is the task I was set to do today in class...
TaskOn your blogs, please describe (statement), explain (explanation) with examples (evidence) what pathos, logos, and ethos is. You may use Google to research this but it must be all in your own words.
Once you've done this, please also answer the questions 1) what are we doing? 2) why are we doing it? 3) what questions do I have? You have approximately 20-25 minutes to complete this and it must be completed for homework.
PathosPathos describes what is used in advertising and writing to invoke a sense of pity or sadness in the audience. In many advertisements for animal shelters, the marketers will use imagery of sick and unhealthy animals to create a sense of sadness so the audience will donate money to their charity. It is used a lot in these circumstances to get people to care about what is advertised or said.
LogosLogos describes a statement, sentence or argument that uses common sense and logic to back up its point. Using things such as statistics in arguments is using logos.
EthosEthos describes when an argument is based on the credibility of the person making the argument. Using credibility and authority can make the point being made seem more true. For instance, when there is an advertisement for a new toothbrush, the advertisement could mention "7-10 dentists use it. Backing up your point using authority makes it seem more important or more true.
Final Questions What are we doing? For this task we were told to define and explain what Pathos, Logos and Ethos are, then we had to post it on our blogs.
Why are we doing it?We are doing this to learn how we can use these different techniques in our persuasive arguments and we are able to now use them in other aspects of persuasion too.
What questions do I have? I wonder how often we actually see these persuasive techniques and don't notice it. Personally, I don't notice some of the ways these techniques are used on a day-to-day basis, but I realise how these are used and how they can be effective.
Can we be proud to be called New Zealanders? Essay Activities We had to read this old essay from Mr Aitken and then answer the questions at the bottom of the doc.
Better people, better views, better rugby! New Zealanders can be proud to live in the 'Land of the Long White Cloud'. This is because we are the friendliest people, we have the best landscape the globe has to offer, and we have the best rugby team in the history of the game. New Zealanders have a great reputation for being the friendliest people around. For example, where else in the world can you strike up a conversation or have a joke with fellow countrymen (or women) at the beach, park, or rugby? If you talk to people from all over the world who have travelled to and around New Zealand, you will very often hear about how friendly and hospitable 'Kiwi's' are. Is it not a wonderful thing to be part of a land known for its warm people? Not only do we have friendly people, but we have the most breathtaking and gorgeous vistas on the planet. We have snow-capped peaks with rugged and pure forests and bush with exotic birds; we also have timeless beaches and lakes that can be serene or ferocious. 'The Lord of the Rings' was filmed here because of the super stunning scenery and we are all happy to be associated with that. Why do so many people come to New Zealand? To view the spectacular and varied landscapes New Zealanders love and are proud to call home. We can not only be proud to be New Zealanders for our friendliness and views but also because we have the best rugby team in the world. This can be seen by the fact that no other rugby team in the world has won so many and lost so few games as the mighty All Blacks. We also have New Zealanders coaching other countries and prominent clubs and we can arguably say we have the best rugby forward and back in the world. Not only do we have the best rugby team in the world, but we can also be proud of the fact that we have the haka that has helped put New Zealand on the map. These are some of the reasons we can be happy to be the children of Aotearoa. We have the best people, the best landscape, and the best rugby team in the world. No wonder 22% of the rest of the world wants to immigrate here. Answer all these questions from this essay, please. Google any of the definitions that you are unsure of :) You can highlight the answer and write what it is in the comments section. 1) List 5 adjectives (describing words) in the essay. friendliest, wonderful, breathtaking, stunning and gorgeous 2) What is the statistic used in the essay? No wonder 22% of the rest of the world wants to immigrate here. 3) Write out a statement that links two points together.Not only do we have friendly people, but we have the most breathtaking and gorgeous vistas on the planet. 4) Write out an example of the rule of 3 (or tricolon). Better people, better views, better rugby! 5) Write out an example of a rhetorical question.For example, where else in the world can you strike up a conversation or have a joke with fellow countrymen (or women) at the beach, park, or rugby? 6) Write out an example of an informal word used in the essay.Kiwi's 7) What are the three terms used for New Zealand?New Zealand, Aotearoa, Land Of The Long White Cloud 8) Who do you think is referred to as the best forward and back in New Zealand rugby?Dan Carter and Richie Mccaw according to Mr Aitken 9) What other words or phrases are used for the word 'proud'? we are all happy to be associated with that, be happy to be the children of Aotearoa. Proud 10) What are two different conjunctions that are in the essay?And, But, ; 11) What is the thesis from the introduction?We can be proud to be NZ'ders 12) What is the list of points from the introduction?This is because we are the friendliest people, we have the best landscape the globe has to offer, and we have the best rugby team in the history of the game. 13) What is the punchline from the conclusion?No wonder 22% of the rest of the world wants to immigrate here.
14) What is the catch ‘em from the introduction?Better people, better views, better rugby!

15) What is the restated thesis from the conclusion? . We have the best people, the best landscape, and the best rugby team in the world.
16) What is the restated list of points from the conclusion?
That we have the "best rugby team, best people and best views" in the world. 

Friday, 19 June 2020

English Film Analysis - Self Directed Learning


In my English class, we have been using Self-directed learning for our 1.11 film study assessment. I decided to do my analysis on the television prison drama Wentworth. Here is my two-part screencastify about how the director Kevin Carlin used different film aspects to show meaning. I really enjoyed using this format because I was able to be more creatively driven for this assessment. I think I will be using this format again next time in English.

 <-- Here is part one  

Here is part two -->

Thursday, 4 June 2020

Time for Another SEXXY Analysis... yea man


How the "Jessica" Meth.org PSA shows the harmful effects of drugs 
The harmful effects of drugs are shown in the Meth public service announcement Jessica by Meth.org. This is seen in the contrasting bright and dark lighting used throughout the advertisement. Dark lighting is used to reflect the darkness encompassing Jessica and her mind. Throughout the advertisement, we see Jessica go down a rabbit hole of darkness and pain, and that darkness is shown in the lighting. It shows her madness and pain, especially during the rape scene. But the bright lights show a more light or "innocent" part of Jessica, which is seen more at the start of the advertisement. The director did this to further give the audience the idea that Meth is something that negatively impacts people and their lives. Jessica was someone was consumed by drugs and those drugs dragged her to a dark place. The once bright lighting was slowly darkened, as was Jessica's mind. This aspect is also demonstrated in the last scene of Unforgiven when everyone is dead due to violence. Violence negatively impacted the lives of so many and brought darkness to so many lives, just as Meth eventually brought death to Jessica's.

Thursday, 26 March 2020

Its time for a SEXXXY analysis - English work


Recent events around the world have meant that all students must remain at home for four weeks. Myself, being quite a pedantic student, have found this whole isolation process to be quite the struggle. I never find staying at home easy, so I've been doing as much work as I can at this point just to keep me busy and to stop me from going crazy.

For our English work over these 4 lonely weeks; our class has to go through a bunch of slide decks for our English Class. There are 10 in total. One of the first slide decks I had to complete was the group/peer work one. This included working with a friend while at home, so I completed this task with Dylan. I found working with Dylan easy, especially with the new chat feature that we have been allowed to use while on isolation. We gave each other little bits of feedback and were able to finish it within 25 minutes or so. Unfortunately; we were unable to complete two of the tasks about PSA's because the videos were restricted, but we might go back and update them using different videos later.

The work that I have completed is pink.

Thursday, 19 March 2020

Music in Film

What is the Auteur Theory? 
Auteur Theory is when the Director of a film is seen to be the major creative force in the creation of a film. The director is seen to be the "author" of a film. The individual style of the director is seen throughout the film. The film is dictated so much by the director that the director is ranked by the author of the film, some of the many other features of the film are credited by the director other than the people or team that actually created them.

What is Film Theory? 
There are eight elements to film theory; Types of film, shots, angles, lighting, colour, sound, editing, and mise en scene. Film theory is when you criticise and address these core elements and concepts created, and analyse the relationship between the cinema, perception and the human body.

What is Film Criticism? 
Film criticism--unlike film theory-- is when you delve deep into how movies manipulate your emotions and how filmmakers are coming to from to tell the story. Although it may not seem that way, issues like race, inequality, class struggles, gender, or even grief. Powerful films are analysed and the different elements used in film theory are looked into by film critics.

What is a Motif? 
Directors have to articulate what the films, and about if anything is of visual significance. They ensure the story operates on more than one level. They are important because they give deeper meaning to any aspects that the directors include. Visual motifs use a theme that occurs throughout a film. An example of this would be the use of the American flag in The Silence Of The Lambs film.

What is Visual Contrast? 
Contrast is the visual of what conflict is to a script. I looked at a video about Spike Jonze's ad that advertised a home pod device. Tone, direction, camera movement as well as blocking are examples of visual contrast. We start in a desaturated world, dark, but once the lady started interacting with the Home Pod, everything changes. Colour is revealed, the space is bright, blocking shows how someone is constricted, is now free. He uses this technique to make the viewers subconsciously believe that if they purchase the Home Pod, their constricted world will be freer. I think this technique is very effective.

Film Tone 
Tone literally means brightness. Changing brightness can give the audience a different type of experience. Lighting, exposer and Art direction are the three elements of tone. Exposer is how much light a director allows to get into the cameras. Art direction is how much tonal difference is in a set of a film and lighting is the use of lights for an aesthetic effect.

WHY IS TONE USED IN "THE GODFATHER"? HOW IS IT USED?
In the first scenes of the Godfather, the scene is underexposed, with many dark notes in the lighting. Inside, the darkness symbolises the violence and death as well as grief. While the light bright notes coming in from the blinds symbolise the bright happiness from the wedding happening outside. This is a contrast of darkness and light. You can control feelings with the brightness of films. Movies in the genre of horror use dark tones to create scariness as well as suspense. The tone used in comedy movies is often bright and bouncy.

Production Design 
Production Design is the overall visual look of the production. It is the unified vision for the production. Set design, prompts and wardrobe makes up production's design. It sets the mood of the scene, can reflect a character and their mood, and it can articulate the stories themes.
MOOD; the Production design is often used to project a view of feeling. The production design can give a film a melancholy feel or a happy bright feel through tone and other elements such as costume.
CHARACTER; The Production design is a powerful way of externalising the internal state of a character. Messiness in set design often reflects the inner state of a character, if a room is empty, that can show the character is empty inside.
THEME; Production design can be used to portray a deeper meaning behind the imagery, or the "subtext". It's a way to use the film's story to tell it intelligently.  Breaking down the script can make directors think more about the set designs as well as costumes which can add to the subtext. This leads to more creative choices.

Film Blocking 
Watching two people talking can normally make people bored, but connected with the film blocking technique, can make the scenes more exited. Film blocking is the precise staging of actors in a performance. In a film, this is where you put actors in a film. These visual elements are what directors have to think about when blocking out a scene.
SHAPES; There are three basic shapes when blocking out a scene. There is a square, triangle and circles. Everything around us can be turned into one of those shapes, actors faces can be.
EMOTIONS; These shapes come with basic emotional qualities. Circles feel safer and inclusive. Squares give limited space, boxing someone in. Triangles are sharp and feel aggressive.
BLOCKING HELPS; Contrast and subtext; When contrasting, blocking with what's being said or done, you create an underlying meaning. You start to reveal the true story and its not just for the viewers. Communicating subtext through the blocking of a scene guides the actors towards the director's final vision.

Camera Movement 
What are the purposes of the whip pan and slow pan shot? 
In film, a whip pan shot is a technique that uses a quick camera movement to create a blurry effect. It is commonly used as a transition between two different shots, it can also be used to indicate the passing of time. Slow panning gives the viewers time to take in the scenery.

What is the purpose of the tilt shot?
Tilting shots are one of the most common ways of opening a film. It often reveals something to the viewers and redirects their attention.

What does the reverse dolly zoom shot help show?
The reverse dolly zoom shot helps show the intense internal experience a character might be going through during a scene.

What is the difference between a Steadicam and dolly shot? 
Steadicam shots and dolly shots are quite similar, but because the camera is stabilized on the camera operator, it gracefully glides within a space.

What can the hand-held shot help create for the viewer? 
Hand-held shots give a shaky feeling to the scene that builds up more anxiety for the viewer.

What should directors ask themselves with their camera movements? 
When selecting which camera movements they are going to work with, directors should consider whether the shot is going to keep the audience interested. Using different camera shots together can create a sense of belonging in that scene, it can sometimes feel like the audience member is in the scene themselves. How does the shot impact the story? You don't want regular viewers to notice the cinematography, you want them to notice what's going on in the story.

Camera movements should be doing what? 
The camera movements should be drawing attention to something in the film. It should be directing the audience's eyes to something in particular.

Film Colour 
How does colour in film affect people? 
Colours elect emotions and have a psychological effect on people.

What are the three factors in determining colour? 
HUE; The colour itself
SATURATION; The intensity of the colour
BRIGHTNESS; How light or dark the colour is

Why is the hue in 'The Matrix mostly green? 
The movie takes place inside of a digital matrix, and we mostly associate green with code. The green in The Matrix is sort of sickly. This reflects the overall state of affairs in that world.

Why do some films desaturate? 
When colours are drained out of an image, it gives the world of a film a cold, gritty sort of look. This look also replicates old faded photographs. It can take you back in time.

What can brightness and a lack of brightness show in film? 
Brightness can be used to affect individual colours in a film themselves. Sometimes a movie might elect to use entirely bright colours, and this is movies particularly from the technicolour era. Brightness and lack of brightness can be used for contrast within the film.

The Art of The Insert 
What is an insert shot?
In film, an insert shot is a shot of a part of a scene as filmed from a different angle and or focal point from the master shot.

What is the purpose of an insert shot? 
An insert shot is how a director communicates the idea of the theme of their film as well as present critical plot details to their viewers. You can use an insert shot to communicate crucial narrative information.

What are the three main aspects of the insert shot? 
Colour: What colours are used within these shots. These colours can draw the audience to certain points within the insert shot. Using contrasting colours can be very effective. It's used as a narrative device. 
Composition: What the scene is compiled of. Directors use these shots to give the audience the context of the story and its characters. 
Timing: However long you linger on a shot and how you cut from insert to insert will change its meaning. Shorter snippets can cause a sense of urgency among not just the characters but also the audience. 

Dutch Angles 
What is a Dutch Angle? 
A Dutch Angle is used to create an uneasy feeling in the viewers of the film. It's meant to show that something is wrong without specifically telling the audience something bad is happening or is going to happen. It is an angle that has a noticeable tilt on the cameras x-axis. Directors use this angle to signal something disorientating and unsettling. 

Who and when created the Dutch angle? 
The Dutch Angle was used my German expressionists in the early 1900s. 

What three things do directors need to consider for the Dutch Angle? 
Identify the moment: Read through the script and find a part of the film that is unsettling or wrong. 
Consider the moment
Enhance the moment: Don't overindulge over the angles, fit the angle in where it is necessary. 

What four things enhance a Dutch angle? 
The degree of the tilt 
Camera height 
Lens choice 
Depth of field 

POV Shot 
What is a POV shot? 
A point of view shot-- like it sounds-- is from the point of the character. The audience sees what the character sees.

What is a "point of thought" shot? 
A point of thought shot is when the director showcases a thought instead of having the shot from the characters point of view.

Why are they important? 
The POT shot is quite important because it shows deeper meaning than the POV shot. I think that when directors use a POT shot, it gives the film more personal feel that the audience might be able to relate to. POV shots are important too because they give the audience perspective on what the scene looks like from the characters point of view. This also gives them the feeling that they are in the scene themselves.

Establishing Shots 
What is an Establishing shot? 
An establishing shot establishes the scene in a film. These are the perfect opening for a film.

Why is it used? 
Establishes a new location but also to establish the tone of the film.

Why are establishing shots usually the most expensive? 
Because you can see everything. It can be expensive to get the rights to shoot everything in such a wide shot.

Over-The-Shoulder Shot 
What is the effect of an Over-The-Shoulder Shot? 
The OTS shot connects the characters.

What film aspect shows a disconnection between characters? 
Moving from an OTS shot to a single shot. It isolates the characters from each other.

How does the director of this scene show the disconnection of the characters? 
Any visual absence within the frame will create an emotional disconnection. Using a forward motion on a dolly can create an effect that shows that the characters are not on the same page. Bringing in the waiter created a connection between the characters rather than a shot of one character. Showing a single shot of one character can isolate them from the rest.

What eventually isolates the female character from the rest? 
When the camera goes to the female character, it is just her in the shot, juxtaposed to the shot of the male that is an OTS shot over the waiter's shoulder. The waiter and the male have a connection, but the female character is completely alone in this.

Tuesday, 10 March 2020

Yay I finished my Creative Writing assessment... finally


We've finally finished our Creative Writing unit, and I have completed my story. We had a word limit of 1000 words and I managed to stay in that limit and keep all of the work pretty well done. I am not going to include my final story, but here is all of the work I have done for editing for my first draft.

Idea: You are a nurse, and you are working the midnight shift, there is someone roaming around the hospital and leaves a bloody trail. As you turn the corner of the hall, the person roaming gets to you.
Start writing here:
Shining unsteadily… the hall light cast a spell that descended the ward into darkness. Short bursts of yellow flickering lights brought fragments of bloodied remains into view. The sickening stench of rotten fish and copper blanketed the air. Bodies like famished mannequins, ghoulish and dissembled. Blood drying onto their pearl skin like the new coat of crimson paint on the wall. My uniform, once a dark magenta, is now a bright shade of scarlet. Aside from the rapid beating of my heart, not a muscle would move. Such a sweet, metallic pungency filled my nose. Heavy and festering, I knew the scent would never leave.
Desperate screams of tormented strangers fill my head. Limbs shake as I try to make my steps as light as possible. With each new step, the pace of my beating heart intensifies. Dark hues of crimson are plastered over the walls, with heads strung up on the walls like trophies. I edge closer and closer towards the end of the ward.
 The buzzing sound of the light intensifies as my steps become faster in pace. Crackling with each inch I move. Crackling with each step I take. Crackling as if I’m stepping on glass. Bones create a trail that becomes more distinct. Scratching noises coming from the storage room, abundant in tools. Various nail guns are hung on the wall. Inside, a trail of blood-stained bones leads to a pentagram made of intestines. Droplets of blood trickled down onto my face, travelling further down my body until it got to my fingertips. I sensed a presence, dark and cold, pulling me towards the door. I stopped and stared at the figure in front of me. Devilish. It looked almost… dead. Three gargantuan horns plunged out of the creatures head, each with a different shape on them. I try to comprehend the symbols before it attacks.
I let out the loudest possible scream, but it is not enough. The air-dried out my lungs and throat as I inhaled deeper, faster. I stopped walking and began to run. But something stopped me. The ground began to rumble and shake crazily. Severed toes and fingers slowly began to lift off the grimy floor. They span and shook as more and more parts lifted off the ground. They began to assemble. There was no getting out of this. I tiptoed towards room seven when I too began to float in the air. Suspended among different body parts, I could feel my heart starting to pound and sweat began to pour out of my forehead. I felt something holding me, but no person was in sight. There it was again, the devilish spirit. Clutching onto my face, the spirit began to chant an unknown phrase
"gAZZY BAAA WAAAAAAA", “gAZZY BAAA WAAAAAAA”, “gAZZY BAAAA WAAAAAAA”.
I let out scream after scream before the spirit itself began to settle me down. It grabbed my face before I could say anything and attempted to get its mouth around my head. I screamed as I grabbed a nail gun off the wall next to me and aimed it towards the three-horned creature. I’d never used a nail gun before so the task facing me sent multiple minuscule shivers down my spine. I needed to live, I HAD to live. I took the nail gun and aimed it at the centre of the forehead of the creature. My forefingers and my thumb squeezed the gun together to shoot a singular nail. Then another. Soon another. A singular nail was launched into the beady eyes of the creature. Muffled screams escaped my mouth as the creature leant forward. Closer and closer. The world started spinning in my mind. My vision went black.


I did this editing bit on my blog and copied and pasted it here
Task One: Write 50-100 words to use the senses to evoke a sense of place
At the very beginning of my story, I think I did quite a good job of this, but I think I could use some more of the five senses to entice the reader to continue reading. Here is the first part of my story where I used this skill...
Shining unsteadily… the hall light cast a spell that descended the ward into darkness. Short bursts of yellow flickering lights brought fragments of bloodied remains into view. The sickening stench of rotten fish and copper blanketed the air. Bodies like famished mannequins, ghoulish and dissembled. Blood drying onto their pearl skin like the new coat of crimson paint on the wall. My uniform, once a dark magenta, is now a bright shade of scarlet. Aside from the rapid beating of my heart, not a muscle would move. Such a sweet, metallic pungency filled my nose. Heavy and festering, I knew the scent would never leave.

Now I am actually really, really impressed with how well I actually completed this part of the writing. But there isn't really much showing the reader that it is a hospital, so I aim to change that. The only real way to tell its set in a hospital is the word "ward", But I want it to be easier to understand. I can certainly keep a lot of these bits that are already in the piece, I think I just need to add some more sentences. I also there is a plot hole in this paragraph, how does she get blood on her uniform? So I have to change that.

Here is my rewritten piece of writing (Highlighted bits are the bits I've either altered, rewritten, or changed completely)
Shining unsteadily… the hall light cast a spell that descended the ward into darkness. Short bursts of yellow flickering lights brought fragments of bloodied remains into view. The sickening stench of rotten fish and copper blanketed the air. Patients like famished mannequins, ghoulish and dissembled, were spread across the ward. Blood dried onto their pearl skin like the new coat of crimson paint on the wall. My legs struggled through the sea of bodies, the cuffs of my uniform pants dripped with blood. Aside from the beating of my heart, not a muscle would move. Such a sweet metallic pungency filled my nose. Heavy and festering, I knew the scent would never leave.

Task Two: Write 50- 100 words to list 2-4 things that will raise the stakes for your character on their way to reach their goal
Well, my character doesn't exactly state exactly what their goal is, but the goal for my character is to kill the satanic spirit. The story ends on quite a cliffhanger, you won't know whether the protagonist makes it out alive until you read the next part that I write for it, that's if I write it.
How to raise the stakes 1)
I think that during the part of my story when the protagonist is shooting the nail gun at the creature, I could write a part where the nail gun loses all of its nails and the creature attacks her. The protagonist could have a couple of her fingers bitten off or something like that.
How to raise the stakes 2)
Another way I could raise the stakes is if I write that the creature makes the bodies of the patients and doctors come back to life and attack the protagonist. I think this would raise the stakes because it would give the readers a reason to continue reading and be interested in what I'm writing. Not that what I've written isn't exactly interesting, but writing something like that could keep the readers more interested.
Task Three: Delete at least 3 unnecessary words from a sentence
Original Sentence: My limbs shake when I tried to make each of my steps as light as possible.
Completed sentence. Limbs shake as I try to make my steps as light as possible.

Task Four: Describe your character's backstory and mannerisms.
Protagonist
Shoulders rolled back, head held high, and back straight. Steph was always a confident and bubbly girl. She was very graceful and never went without a smile. Steph was always friendly. She always was such a good soul. She became a nurse at the age of 23, it was always a dream to attend to people and look after them. It was only after the incident, she never was the same.
Task Five: Write out 3 sentences to show where you've included at least three of the five senses

Basically, the whole first paragraph of my story uses the five senses…
Shining unsteadily… the hall light cast a spell that descended the ward into darkness. Short bursts of yellow flickering lights brought fragments of bloodied remains into view. The sickening stench of rotten fish and copper blanketed the air. Bodies like famished mannequins, ghoulish and dissembled. Blood drying onto their pearl skin like the new coat of crimson paint on the wall. My uniform, once a dark magenta, is now a bright shade of scarlet. Aside from the rapid beating of my heart, not a muscle would move. Such a sweet, metallic pungency filled my nose. Heavy and festering, I knew the scent would never leave.





My second draft
Shining unsteadily… the hall light cast a spell that descended the ward into darkness. Short bursts of yellow flickering lights brought fragments of bloodied remains into view. The sickening stench of rotten fish and copper blanketed the air. Patients like famished mannequins, ghoulish and dissembled, were spread across the ward. Blood dried onto their pearl skin like the new coat of crimson paint on the wall. My legs struggled through the sea of bodies, the cuffs of my uniform pants dripped with blood. Aside from the beating of my heart, not a muscle would move. Such a sweet metallic pungency filled my nose. Heavy and festering, I knew the scent would never leave.

Desperate screams of tormented strangers fill my head. My limbs shake when I tried to make each of my steps as light as possible. With each new step, the pace of my beating heart intensifies. Dark hues of crimson are plastered over the walls, with heads strung up on the walls like trophies. Curiously, I edge closer and closer towards the end of the ward.

 The buzzing sound of the light intensifies as my steps become faster in pace. Crackling with each inch I move. Crackling with each step I take. Crackling as if I’m stepping on glass. Bones create a trail that becomes more distinct. Scratching noises coming from the storage room, abundant in tools. Various nail guns are hung on the wall. Inside, a trail of blood-stained bones leads to a pentagram made of intestines. Droplets of blood trickled down onto my face, travelling further down my body until it got to my fingertips. I sensed a presence, dark and cold, pulling me towards the door. I stopped and stared at the figure in front of me. Devilish. It looked almost… dead. Three gargantuan horns plunged out of the creatures head, each with a different shape on them. I try to comprehend the symbols before it attacks.

I let out the loudest possible scream, but it is not enough. The air-dried out my lungs and throat as I inhaled deeper, faster. I stopped walking and began to run. But something stopped me. The ground began to rumble and shake crazily. Severed toes and fingers slowly began to lift off the grimy floor. They span and shook as more and more parts lifted off the ground. They began to assemble. There was no getting out of this. I tiptoed towards room seven when I too began to float in the air. Suspended among different body parts, I could feel my heart starting to pound; sweat began to pour out of my forehead. I felt something holding me. No person was in sight. There it was again, the devilish spirit. Clutching onto my face; the spirit began to chant an unknown phrase

"gAZZY BAAA WAAAAAAA", “gAZZY BAAA WAAAAAAA”, “gAZZY BAAAA WAAAAAAA”.

I let out scream after scream before the spirit itself began to settle me down. It grabbed my face before I could say anything and attempted to get its mouth around my head. I screamed as I grabbed a nail gun off the wall next to me and aimed it towards the three-horned creature. I’d never used a nail gun before so the task facing me sent multiple minuscule shivers down my spine. I needed to live, I HAD to live. I took the nail gun and aimed it at the centre of the forehead of the creature. My forefingers and my thumb squeezed the gun together to shoot a singular nail. Then another. Soon another. A singular nail was launched into the beady eyes of the creature. Muffled screams escaped my mouth as the creature leant forward. Closer and closer. The world started spinning in my mind. My vision went black.

Second post-writing activity to improve work
Paragraph One
Shining unsteadily… the hall light cast a spell that descended the ward into darkness.

Short bursts of yellow flickering lights brought fragments of bloodied remains into view.

The sickening stench of rotten fish and copper blanketed the air.

Patients like famished mannequins, ghoulish and disassembled, were spread across the ward.

Blood dried onto their pearl skin like the new coat of crimson paint on the wall.

My legs struggled through the sea of bodies, the cuffs of my uniform pants dripped with blood.

Aside from the beating of my heart, not a muscle would move.

Such a sweet metallic pungency filled my nose.

Heavy and festering, I knew the scent would never leave.

Desperate screams of tormented strangers fill my head.

My limbs shake when I tried to make each of my steps as light as possible.

With each new step, the pace of my beating heart intensifies.

Dark hues of crimson are plastered over the walls, with heads strung up on the walls like trophies.

Curiously, I edge closer and closer towards the end of the ward.

The buzzing sound of the light intensifies as my steps become faster in pace.

Crackling with each inch I move.

Crackling with each step I take.

Crackling as if I’m stepping on glass.

Bones create a trail that becomes more distinct.

Scratching noises coming from the storage room, abundant in tools.

Various nail guns are hung on the wall.

Inside, a trail of blood-stained bones leads to a pentagram made of intestines.

Droplets of blood trickled down onto my face, travelling further down my body until it got to my fingertips.

I sensed a presence, dark and cold, pulling me towards the door.

I stopped and stared at the figure in front of me.

Devilish.

It looked almost… dead.

Three gargantuan horns plunged out of the creatures head; each with a different shape on them.

I try to comprehend the symbols before it attacks.

I let out the loudest possible scream, but it is not enough.

The air-dried out my lungs and throat as I inhaled deeper, faster.

I stopped walking and began to run.

But something stopped me.

The ground began to rumble and shake crazily.

Severed toes and fingers slowly began to lift off the grimy floor.

They span and shook as more and more parts lifted off the ground.

As they began to assemble, I knew there was no getting out of this.

I tiptoed towards room seven, but I too began to float in the air.

Suspended among different body parts, I could feel my heart starting to pound; sweat began to pour out of my forehead.

I felt something holding me.

No person was in sight.

There it was again, the devilish spirit.

Clutching onto my face; the spirit began to chant an unknown phrase

"gAZZY BAAA WAAAAAAA", “gAZZY BAAA WAAAAAAA”, “gAZZY BAAAA WAAAAAAA”.

I let out scream after scream before the spirit itself began to settle me down.

It grabbed my face before I could say anything and attempted to get its mouth around my head.

I screamed as I grabbed a nail gun off the wall next to me and aimed it towards the three-horned creature.

I’d never used a nail gun before so the task facing me sent multiple minuscule shivers down my spine.

I needed to live, I HAD to live.

I took the nail gun and aimed it at the centre of the forehead of the creature.

My forefingers and my thumb squeezed the gun together to shoot a singular nail.

Then another.

Soon another.

 A singular nail was launched into the beady eyes of the creature.

Muffled screams escaped my mouth as the creature leant forward.

Closer and closer.

The world started spinning in my mind.

My vision went black.


Thursday, 27 February 2020

Moosic time bois


It's that time of year again lads, it's that time when we perform for our music assessment. 

I'm working with Kiera, Sam and Stacey. We are singing the song 'Let it go' by James Bay. I think this song is a really good song for us because we can work our different voices. From what I've seen online, this song is about a relationship that goes wrong. The couple is only staying together just for the sake of the relationship. Our group is working very hard to incorporate harmonies and different melodies into our performance to get excellence. I guess one of the hardest challenges is getting the cohesion and harmonies to work well together. We all have quite different levels of confidence performing and we also have some strong personalities within the group. 

Tuesday, 18 February 2020

14 English Language Features that took me a really long time to write cause my brain is slow :/


In English, my class has been learning about various language features. We were tasked to make a blog post, containing 14 different language features. I used a mix of features that I already knew, and others that I did not know.

Here is a slideshow that I completed my work on.
Slide template was found on slidecarnival.com

My learning was alright, in class I did get quite distracted but I eventually got the work done. I managed to complete the task, which was my goal. Next time I am going to focus primarily on my work instead of conversations going on at my table.