Thursday, 26 March 2020
Its time for a SEXXXY analysis - English work
Recent events around the world have meant that all students must remain at home for four weeks. Myself, being quite a pedantic student, have found this whole isolation process to be quite the struggle. I never find staying at home easy, so I've been doing as much work as I can at this point just to keep me busy and to stop me from going crazy.
For our English work over these 4 lonely weeks; our class has to go through a bunch of slide decks for our English Class. There are 10 in total. One of the first slide decks I had to complete was the group/peer work one. This included working with a friend while at home, so I completed this task with Dylan. I found working with Dylan easy, especially with the new chat feature that we have been allowed to use while on isolation. We gave each other little bits of feedback and were able to finish it within 25 minutes or so. Unfortunately; we were unable to complete two of the tasks about PSA's because the videos were restricted, but we might go back and update them using different videos later.
The work that I have completed is pink.
Thursday, 19 March 2020
Music in Film
What is the Auteur Theory?
Auteur Theory is when the Director of a film is seen to be the major creative force in the creation of a film. The director is seen to be the "author" of a film. The individual style of the director is seen throughout the film. The film is dictated so much by the director that the director is ranked by the author of the film, some of the many other features of the film are credited by the director other than the people or team that actually created them.
What is Film Theory?
There are eight elements to film theory; Types of film, shots, angles, lighting, colour, sound, editing, and mise en scene. Film theory is when you criticise and address these core elements and concepts created, and analyse the relationship between the cinema, perception and the human body.
What is Film Criticism?
Film criticism--unlike film theory-- is when you delve deep into how movies manipulate your emotions and how filmmakers are coming to from to tell the story. Although it may not seem that way, issues like race, inequality, class struggles, gender, or even grief. Powerful films are analysed and the different elements used in film theory are looked into by film critics.
What is a Motif?
Directors have to articulate what the films, and about if anything is of visual significance. They ensure the story operates on more than one level. They are important because they give deeper meaning to any aspects that the directors include. Visual motifs use a theme that occurs throughout a film. An example of this would be the use of the American flag in The Silence Of The Lambs film.
What is Visual Contrast?
Contrast is the visual of what conflict is to a script. I looked at a video about Spike Jonze's ad that advertised a home pod device. Tone, direction, camera movement as well as blocking are examples of visual contrast. We start in a desaturated world, dark, but once the lady started interacting with the Home Pod, everything changes. Colour is revealed, the space is bright, blocking shows how someone is constricted, is now free. He uses this technique to make the viewers subconsciously believe that if they purchase the Home Pod, their constricted world will be freer. I think this technique is very effective.
Film Tone
Tone literally means brightness. Changing brightness can give the audience a different type of experience. Lighting, exposer and Art direction are the three elements of tone. Exposer is how much light a director allows to get into the cameras. Art direction is how much tonal difference is in a set of a film and lighting is the use of lights for an aesthetic effect.
WHY IS TONE USED IN "THE GODFATHER"? HOW IS IT USED?
In the first scenes of the Godfather, the scene is underexposed, with many dark notes in the lighting. Inside, the darkness symbolises the violence and death as well as grief. While the light bright notes coming in from the blinds symbolise the bright happiness from the wedding happening outside. This is a contrast of darkness and light. You can control feelings with the brightness of films. Movies in the genre of horror use dark tones to create scariness as well as suspense. The tone used in comedy movies is often bright and bouncy.
Production Design
Production Design is the overall visual look of the production. It is the unified vision for the production. Set design, prompts and wardrobe makes up production's design. It sets the mood of the scene, can reflect a character and their mood, and it can articulate the stories themes.
MOOD; the Production design is often used to project a view of feeling. The production design can give a film a melancholy feel or a happy bright feel through tone and other elements such as costume.
CHARACTER; The Production design is a powerful way of externalising the internal state of a character. Messiness in set design often reflects the inner state of a character, if a room is empty, that can show the character is empty inside.
THEME; Production design can be used to portray a deeper meaning behind the imagery, or the "subtext". It's a way to use the film's story to tell it intelligently. Breaking down the script can make directors think more about the set designs as well as costumes which can add to the subtext. This leads to more creative choices.
Film Blocking
Watching two people talking can normally make people bored, but connected with the film blocking technique, can make the scenes more exited. Film blocking is the precise staging of actors in a performance. In a film, this is where you put actors in a film. These visual elements are what directors have to think about when blocking out a scene.
SHAPES; There are three basic shapes when blocking out a scene. There is a square, triangle and circles. Everything around us can be turned into one of those shapes, actors faces can be.
EMOTIONS; These shapes come with basic emotional qualities. Circles feel safer and inclusive. Squares give limited space, boxing someone in. Triangles are sharp and feel aggressive.
BLOCKING HELPS; Contrast and subtext; When contrasting, blocking with what's being said or done, you create an underlying meaning. You start to reveal the true story and its not just for the viewers. Communicating subtext through the blocking of a scene guides the actors towards the director's final vision.
Camera Movement
What are the purposes of the whip pan and slow pan shot?
In film, a whip pan shot is a technique that uses a quick camera movement to create a blurry effect. It is commonly used as a transition between two different shots, it can also be used to indicate the passing of time. Slow panning gives the viewers time to take in the scenery.
What is the purpose of the tilt shot?
Tilting shots are one of the most common ways of opening a film. It often reveals something to the viewers and redirects their attention.
What does the reverse dolly zoom shot help show?
The reverse dolly zoom shot helps show the intense internal experience a character might be going through during a scene.
What is the difference between a Steadicam and dolly shot?
Steadicam shots and dolly shots are quite similar, but because the camera is stabilized on the camera operator, it gracefully glides within a space.
What can the hand-held shot help create for the viewer?
Hand-held shots give a shaky feeling to the scene that builds up more anxiety for the viewer.
What should directors ask themselves with their camera movements?
When selecting which camera movements they are going to work with, directors should consider whether the shot is going to keep the audience interested. Using different camera shots together can create a sense of belonging in that scene, it can sometimes feel like the audience member is in the scene themselves. How does the shot impact the story? You don't want regular viewers to notice the cinematography, you want them to notice what's going on in the story.
Camera movements should be doing what?
The camera movements should be drawing attention to something in the film. It should be directing the audience's eyes to something in particular.
Film Colour
How does colour in film affect people?
Colours elect emotions and have a psychological effect on people.
What are the three factors in determining colour?
HUE; The colour itself
SATURATION; The intensity of the colour
BRIGHTNESS; How light or dark the colour is
Why is the hue in 'The Matrix mostly green?
The movie takes place inside of a digital matrix, and we mostly associate green with code. The green in The Matrix is sort of sickly. This reflects the overall state of affairs in that world.
Why do some films desaturate?
When colours are drained out of an image, it gives the world of a film a cold, gritty sort of look. This look also replicates old faded photographs. It can take you back in time.
What can brightness and a lack of brightness show in film?
Brightness can be used to affect individual colours in a film themselves. Sometimes a movie might elect to use entirely bright colours, and this is movies particularly from the technicolour era. Brightness and lack of brightness can be used for contrast within the film.
The Art of The Insert
What is an insert shot?
In film, an insert shot is a shot of a part of a scene as filmed from a different angle and or focal point from the master shot.
What is the purpose of an insert shot?
An insert shot is how a director communicates the idea of the theme of their film as well as present critical plot details to their viewers. You can use an insert shot to communicate crucial narrative information.
POV Shot
What is a POV shot?
A point of view shot-- like it sounds-- is from the point of the character. The audience sees what the character sees.
What is a "point of thought" shot?
A point of thought shot is when the director showcases a thought instead of having the shot from the characters point of view.
Why are they important?
The POT shot is quite important because it shows deeper meaning than the POV shot. I think that when directors use a POT shot, it gives the film more personal feel that the audience might be able to relate to. POV shots are important too because they give the audience perspective on what the scene looks like from the characters point of view. This also gives them the feeling that they are in the scene themselves.
Establishing Shots
What is an Establishing shot?
An establishing shot establishes the scene in a film. These are the perfect opening for a film.
Why is it used?
Establishes a new location but also to establish the tone of the film.
Why are establishing shots usually the most expensive?
Because you can see everything. It can be expensive to get the rights to shoot everything in such a wide shot.
Over-The-Shoulder Shot
What is the effect of an Over-The-Shoulder Shot?
The OTS shot connects the characters.
What film aspect shows a disconnection between characters?
Moving from an OTS shot to a single shot. It isolates the characters from each other.
How does the director of this scene show the disconnection of the characters?
Any visual absence within the frame will create an emotional disconnection. Using a forward motion on a dolly can create an effect that shows that the characters are not on the same page. Bringing in the waiter created a connection between the characters rather than a shot of one character. Showing a single shot of one character can isolate them from the rest.
What eventually isolates the female character from the rest?
When the camera goes to the female character, it is just her in the shot, juxtaposed to the shot of the male that is an OTS shot over the waiter's shoulder. The waiter and the male have a connection, but the female character is completely alone in this.
Auteur Theory is when the Director of a film is seen to be the major creative force in the creation of a film. The director is seen to be the "author" of a film. The individual style of the director is seen throughout the film. The film is dictated so much by the director that the director is ranked by the author of the film, some of the many other features of the film are credited by the director other than the people or team that actually created them.
What is Film Theory?
There are eight elements to film theory; Types of film, shots, angles, lighting, colour, sound, editing, and mise en scene. Film theory is when you criticise and address these core elements and concepts created, and analyse the relationship between the cinema, perception and the human body.
What is Film Criticism?
Film criticism--unlike film theory-- is when you delve deep into how movies manipulate your emotions and how filmmakers are coming to from to tell the story. Although it may not seem that way, issues like race, inequality, class struggles, gender, or even grief. Powerful films are analysed and the different elements used in film theory are looked into by film critics.
What is a Motif?
Directors have to articulate what the films, and about if anything is of visual significance. They ensure the story operates on more than one level. They are important because they give deeper meaning to any aspects that the directors include. Visual motifs use a theme that occurs throughout a film. An example of this would be the use of the American flag in The Silence Of The Lambs film.
What is Visual Contrast?
Contrast is the visual of what conflict is to a script. I looked at a video about Spike Jonze's ad that advertised a home pod device. Tone, direction, camera movement as well as blocking are examples of visual contrast. We start in a desaturated world, dark, but once the lady started interacting with the Home Pod, everything changes. Colour is revealed, the space is bright, blocking shows how someone is constricted, is now free. He uses this technique to make the viewers subconsciously believe that if they purchase the Home Pod, their constricted world will be freer. I think this technique is very effective.
Film Tone
Tone literally means brightness. Changing brightness can give the audience a different type of experience. Lighting, exposer and Art direction are the three elements of tone. Exposer is how much light a director allows to get into the cameras. Art direction is how much tonal difference is in a set of a film and lighting is the use of lights for an aesthetic effect.
WHY IS TONE USED IN "THE GODFATHER"? HOW IS IT USED?
In the first scenes of the Godfather, the scene is underexposed, with many dark notes in the lighting. Inside, the darkness symbolises the violence and death as well as grief. While the light bright notes coming in from the blinds symbolise the bright happiness from the wedding happening outside. This is a contrast of darkness and light. You can control feelings with the brightness of films. Movies in the genre of horror use dark tones to create scariness as well as suspense. The tone used in comedy movies is often bright and bouncy.
Production Design
Production Design is the overall visual look of the production. It is the unified vision for the production. Set design, prompts and wardrobe makes up production's design. It sets the mood of the scene, can reflect a character and their mood, and it can articulate the stories themes.
MOOD; the Production design is often used to project a view of feeling. The production design can give a film a melancholy feel or a happy bright feel through tone and other elements such as costume.
CHARACTER; The Production design is a powerful way of externalising the internal state of a character. Messiness in set design often reflects the inner state of a character, if a room is empty, that can show the character is empty inside.
THEME; Production design can be used to portray a deeper meaning behind the imagery, or the "subtext". It's a way to use the film's story to tell it intelligently. Breaking down the script can make directors think more about the set designs as well as costumes which can add to the subtext. This leads to more creative choices.
Film Blocking
Watching two people talking can normally make people bored, but connected with the film blocking technique, can make the scenes more exited. Film blocking is the precise staging of actors in a performance. In a film, this is where you put actors in a film. These visual elements are what directors have to think about when blocking out a scene.
SHAPES; There are three basic shapes when blocking out a scene. There is a square, triangle and circles. Everything around us can be turned into one of those shapes, actors faces can be.
EMOTIONS; These shapes come with basic emotional qualities. Circles feel safer and inclusive. Squares give limited space, boxing someone in. Triangles are sharp and feel aggressive.
BLOCKING HELPS; Contrast and subtext; When contrasting, blocking with what's being said or done, you create an underlying meaning. You start to reveal the true story and its not just for the viewers. Communicating subtext through the blocking of a scene guides the actors towards the director's final vision.
Camera Movement
What are the purposes of the whip pan and slow pan shot?
In film, a whip pan shot is a technique that uses a quick camera movement to create a blurry effect. It is commonly used as a transition between two different shots, it can also be used to indicate the passing of time. Slow panning gives the viewers time to take in the scenery.
What is the purpose of the tilt shot?
Tilting shots are one of the most common ways of opening a film. It often reveals something to the viewers and redirects their attention.
What does the reverse dolly zoom shot help show?
The reverse dolly zoom shot helps show the intense internal experience a character might be going through during a scene.
What is the difference between a Steadicam and dolly shot?
Steadicam shots and dolly shots are quite similar, but because the camera is stabilized on the camera operator, it gracefully glides within a space.
What can the hand-held shot help create for the viewer?
Hand-held shots give a shaky feeling to the scene that builds up more anxiety for the viewer.
What should directors ask themselves with their camera movements?
When selecting which camera movements they are going to work with, directors should consider whether the shot is going to keep the audience interested. Using different camera shots together can create a sense of belonging in that scene, it can sometimes feel like the audience member is in the scene themselves. How does the shot impact the story? You don't want regular viewers to notice the cinematography, you want them to notice what's going on in the story.
Camera movements should be doing what?
The camera movements should be drawing attention to something in the film. It should be directing the audience's eyes to something in particular.
Film Colour
How does colour in film affect people?
Colours elect emotions and have a psychological effect on people.
What are the three factors in determining colour?
HUE; The colour itself
SATURATION; The intensity of the colour
BRIGHTNESS; How light or dark the colour is
Why is the hue in 'The Matrix mostly green?
The movie takes place inside of a digital matrix, and we mostly associate green with code. The green in The Matrix is sort of sickly. This reflects the overall state of affairs in that world.
Why do some films desaturate?
When colours are drained out of an image, it gives the world of a film a cold, gritty sort of look. This look also replicates old faded photographs. It can take you back in time.
What can brightness and a lack of brightness show in film?
Brightness can be used to affect individual colours in a film themselves. Sometimes a movie might elect to use entirely bright colours, and this is movies particularly from the technicolour era. Brightness and lack of brightness can be used for contrast within the film.
The Art of The Insert
What is an insert shot?
In film, an insert shot is a shot of a part of a scene as filmed from a different angle and or focal point from the master shot.
What is the purpose of an insert shot?
An insert shot is how a director communicates the idea of the theme of their film as well as present critical plot details to their viewers. You can use an insert shot to communicate crucial narrative information.
What are the three main aspects of the insert shot?
Colour: What colours are used within these shots. These colours can draw the audience to certain points within the insert shot. Using contrasting colours can be very effective. It's used as a narrative device.
Composition: What the scene is compiled of. Directors use these shots to give the audience the context of the story and its characters.
Timing: However long you linger on a shot and how you cut from insert to insert will change its meaning. Shorter snippets can cause a sense of urgency among not just the characters but also the audience.
Dutch Angles
What is a Dutch Angle?
A Dutch Angle is used to create an uneasy feeling in the viewers of the film. It's meant to show that something is wrong without specifically telling the audience something bad is happening or is going to happen. It is an angle that has a noticeable tilt on the cameras x-axis. Directors use this angle to signal something disorientating and unsettling.
Who and when created the Dutch angle?
The Dutch Angle was used my German expressionists in the early 1900s.
What three things do directors need to consider for the Dutch Angle?
Identify the moment: Read through the script and find a part of the film that is unsettling or wrong.
Consider the moment
Enhance the moment: Don't overindulge over the angles, fit the angle in where it is necessary.
What four things enhance a Dutch angle?
The degree of the tilt
Camera height
Lens choice
Depth of field
POV Shot
What is a POV shot?
A point of view shot-- like it sounds-- is from the point of the character. The audience sees what the character sees.
What is a "point of thought" shot?
A point of thought shot is when the director showcases a thought instead of having the shot from the characters point of view.
Why are they important?
The POT shot is quite important because it shows deeper meaning than the POV shot. I think that when directors use a POT shot, it gives the film more personal feel that the audience might be able to relate to. POV shots are important too because they give the audience perspective on what the scene looks like from the characters point of view. This also gives them the feeling that they are in the scene themselves.
Establishing Shots
What is an Establishing shot?
An establishing shot establishes the scene in a film. These are the perfect opening for a film.
Why is it used?
Establishes a new location but also to establish the tone of the film.
Why are establishing shots usually the most expensive?
Because you can see everything. It can be expensive to get the rights to shoot everything in such a wide shot.
Over-The-Shoulder Shot
What is the effect of an Over-The-Shoulder Shot?
The OTS shot connects the characters.
What film aspect shows a disconnection between characters?
Moving from an OTS shot to a single shot. It isolates the characters from each other.
How does the director of this scene show the disconnection of the characters?
Any visual absence within the frame will create an emotional disconnection. Using a forward motion on a dolly can create an effect that shows that the characters are not on the same page. Bringing in the waiter created a connection between the characters rather than a shot of one character. Showing a single shot of one character can isolate them from the rest.
What eventually isolates the female character from the rest?
When the camera goes to the female character, it is just her in the shot, juxtaposed to the shot of the male that is an OTS shot over the waiter's shoulder. The waiter and the male have a connection, but the female character is completely alone in this.
Tuesday, 10 March 2020
Yay I finished my Creative Writing assessment... finally
We've finally finished our Creative Writing unit, and I have completed my story. We had a word limit of 1000 words and I managed to stay in that limit and keep all of the work pretty well done. I am not going to include my final story, but here is all of the work I have done for editing for my first draft.
Idea: You are a nurse, and you are working the midnight shift, there is someone roaming around the hospital and leaves a bloody trail. As you turn the corner of the hall, the person roaming gets to you.
Start writing here:
Shining unsteadily… the hall light cast a spell that descended the ward into darkness. Short bursts of yellow flickering lights brought fragments of bloodied remains into view. The sickening stench of rotten fish and copper blanketed the air. Bodies like famished mannequins, ghoulish and dissembled. Blood drying onto their pearl skin like the new coat of crimson paint on the wall. My uniform, once a dark magenta, is now a bright shade of scarlet. Aside from the rapid beating of my heart, not a muscle would move. Such a sweet, metallic pungency filled my nose. Heavy and festering, I knew the scent would never leave.
Desperate screams of tormented strangers fill my head. Limbs shake as I try to make my steps as light as possible. With each new step, the pace of my beating heart intensifies. Dark hues of crimson are plastered over the walls, with heads strung up on the walls like trophies. I edge closer and closer towards the end of the ward.
The buzzing sound of the light intensifies as my steps become faster in pace. Crackling with each inch I move. Crackling with each step I take. Crackling as if I’m stepping on glass. Bones create a trail that becomes more distinct. Scratching noises coming from the storage room, abundant in tools. Various nail guns are hung on the wall. Inside, a trail of blood-stained bones leads to a pentagram made of intestines. Droplets of blood trickled down onto my face, travelling further down my body until it got to my fingertips. I sensed a presence, dark and cold, pulling me towards the door. I stopped and stared at the figure in front of me. Devilish. It looked almost… dead. Three gargantuan horns plunged out of the creatures head, each with a different shape on them. I try to comprehend the symbols before it attacks.
I let out the loudest possible scream, but it is not enough. The air-dried out my lungs and throat as I inhaled deeper, faster. I stopped walking and began to run. But something stopped me. The ground began to rumble and shake crazily. Severed toes and fingers slowly began to lift off the grimy floor. They span and shook as more and more parts lifted off the ground. They began to assemble. There was no getting out of this. I tiptoed towards room seven when I too began to float in the air. Suspended among different body parts, I could feel my heart starting to pound and sweat began to pour out of my forehead. I felt something holding me, but no person was in sight. There it was again, the devilish spirit. Clutching onto my face, the spirit began to chant an unknown phrase
"gAZZY BAAA WAAAAAAA", “gAZZY BAAA WAAAAAAA”, “gAZZY BAAAA WAAAAAAA”.
I let out scream after scream before the spirit itself began to settle me down. It grabbed my face before I could say anything and attempted to get its mouth around my head. I screamed as I grabbed a nail gun off the wall next to me and aimed it towards the three-horned creature. I’d never used a nail gun before so the task facing me sent multiple minuscule shivers down my spine. I needed to live, I HAD to live. I took the nail gun and aimed it at the centre of the forehead of the creature. My forefingers and my thumb squeezed the gun together to shoot a singular nail. Then another. Soon another. A singular nail was launched into the beady eyes of the creature. Muffled screams escaped my mouth as the creature leant forward. Closer and closer. The world started spinning in my mind. My vision went black.
I did this editing bit on my blog and copied and pasted it here
Task One: Write 50-100 words to use the senses to evoke a sense of place
At the very beginning of my story, I think I did quite a good job of this, but I think I could use some more of the five senses to entice the reader to continue reading. Here is the first part of my story where I used this skill...
Shining unsteadily… the hall light cast a spell that descended the ward into darkness. Short bursts of yellow flickering lights brought fragments of bloodied remains into view. The sickening stench of rotten fish and copper blanketed the air. Bodies like famished mannequins, ghoulish and dissembled. Blood drying onto their pearl skin like the new coat of crimson paint on the wall. My uniform, once a dark magenta, is now a bright shade of scarlet. Aside from the rapid beating of my heart, not a muscle would move. Such a sweet, metallic pungency filled my nose. Heavy and festering, I knew the scent would never leave.
Now I am actually really, really impressed with how well I actually completed this part of the writing. But there isn't really much showing the reader that it is a hospital, so I aim to change that. The only real way to tell its set in a hospital is the word "ward", But I want it to be easier to understand. I can certainly keep a lot of these bits that are already in the piece, I think I just need to add some more sentences. I also there is a plot hole in this paragraph, how does she get blood on her uniform? So I have to change that.
Here is my rewritten piece of writing (Highlighted bits are the bits I've either altered, rewritten, or changed completely)
Shining unsteadily… the hall light cast a spell that descended the ward into darkness. Short bursts of yellow flickering lights brought fragments of bloodied remains into view. The sickening stench of rotten fish and copper blanketed the air. Patients like famished mannequins, ghoulish and dissembled, were spread across the ward. Blood dried onto their pearl skin like the new coat of crimson paint on the wall. My legs struggled through the sea of bodies, the cuffs of my uniform pants dripped with blood. Aside from the beating of my heart, not a muscle would move. Such a sweet metallic pungency filled my nose. Heavy and festering, I knew the scent would never leave.
Task Two: Write 50- 100 words to list 2-4 things that will raise the stakes for your character on their way to reach their goal
Well, my character doesn't exactly state exactly what their goal is, but the goal for my character is to kill the satanic spirit. The story ends on quite a cliffhanger, you won't know whether the protagonist makes it out alive until you read the next part that I write for it, that's if I write it.
How to raise the stakes 1)
I think that during the part of my story when the protagonist is shooting the nail gun at the creature, I could write a part where the nail gun loses all of its nails and the creature attacks her. The protagonist could have a couple of her fingers bitten off or something like that.
How to raise the stakes 2)
Another way I could raise the stakes is if I write that the creature makes the bodies of the patients and doctors come back to life and attack the protagonist. I think this would raise the stakes because it would give the readers a reason to continue reading and be interested in what I'm writing. Not that what I've written isn't exactly interesting, but writing something like that could keep the readers more interested.
Task Three: Delete at least 3 unnecessary words from a sentence
Original Sentence: My limbs shake when I tried to make each of my steps as light as possible.
Completed sentence. Limbs shake as I try to make my steps as light as possible.
Task Four: Describe your character's backstory and mannerisms.
Protagonist
Shoulders rolled back, head held high, and back straight. Steph was always a confident and bubbly girl. She was very graceful and never went without a smile. Steph was always friendly. She always was such a good soul. She became a nurse at the age of 23, it was always a dream to attend to people and look after them. It was only after the incident, she never was the same.
Task Five: Write out 3 sentences to show where you've included at least three of the five senses
Basically, the whole first paragraph of my story uses the five senses…
Shining unsteadily… the hall light cast a spell that descended the ward into darkness. Short bursts of yellow flickering lights brought fragments of bloodied remains into view. The sickening stench of rotten fish and copper blanketed the air. Bodies like famished mannequins, ghoulish and dissembled. Blood drying onto their pearl skin like the new coat of crimson paint on the wall. My uniform, once a dark magenta, is now a bright shade of scarlet. Aside from the rapid beating of my heart, not a muscle would move. Such a sweet, metallic pungency filled my nose. Heavy and festering, I knew the scent would never leave.
My second draft
Shining unsteadily… the hall light cast a spell that descended the ward into darkness. Short bursts of yellow flickering lights brought fragments of bloodied remains into view. The sickening stench of rotten fish and copper blanketed the air. Patients like famished mannequins, ghoulish and dissembled, were spread across the ward. Blood dried onto their pearl skin like the new coat of crimson paint on the wall. My legs struggled through the sea of bodies, the cuffs of my uniform pants dripped with blood. Aside from the beating of my heart, not a muscle would move. Such a sweet metallic pungency filled my nose. Heavy and festering, I knew the scent would never leave.
Desperate screams of tormented strangers fill my head. My limbs shake when I tried to make each of my steps as light as possible. With each new step, the pace of my beating heart intensifies. Dark hues of crimson are plastered over the walls, with heads strung up on the walls like trophies. Curiously, I edge closer and closer towards the end of the ward.
The buzzing sound of the light intensifies as my steps become faster in pace. Crackling with each inch I move. Crackling with each step I take. Crackling as if I’m stepping on glass. Bones create a trail that becomes more distinct. Scratching noises coming from the storage room, abundant in tools. Various nail guns are hung on the wall. Inside, a trail of blood-stained bones leads to a pentagram made of intestines. Droplets of blood trickled down onto my face, travelling further down my body until it got to my fingertips. I sensed a presence, dark and cold, pulling me towards the door. I stopped and stared at the figure in front of me. Devilish. It looked almost… dead. Three gargantuan horns plunged out of the creatures head, each with a different shape on them. I try to comprehend the symbols before it attacks.
I let out the loudest possible scream, but it is not enough. The air-dried out my lungs and throat as I inhaled deeper, faster. I stopped walking and began to run. But something stopped me. The ground began to rumble and shake crazily. Severed toes and fingers slowly began to lift off the grimy floor. They span and shook as more and more parts lifted off the ground. They began to assemble. There was no getting out of this. I tiptoed towards room seven when I too began to float in the air. Suspended among different body parts, I could feel my heart starting to pound; sweat began to pour out of my forehead. I felt something holding me. No person was in sight. There it was again, the devilish spirit. Clutching onto my face; the spirit began to chant an unknown phrase
"gAZZY BAAA WAAAAAAA", “gAZZY BAAA WAAAAAAA”, “gAZZY BAAAA WAAAAAAA”.
I let out scream after scream before the spirit itself began to settle me down. It grabbed my face before I could say anything and attempted to get its mouth around my head. I screamed as I grabbed a nail gun off the wall next to me and aimed it towards the three-horned creature. I’d never used a nail gun before so the task facing me sent multiple minuscule shivers down my spine. I needed to live, I HAD to live. I took the nail gun and aimed it at the centre of the forehead of the creature. My forefingers and my thumb squeezed the gun together to shoot a singular nail. Then another. Soon another. A singular nail was launched into the beady eyes of the creature. Muffled screams escaped my mouth as the creature leant forward. Closer and closer. The world started spinning in my mind. My vision went black.
Second post-writing activity to improve work
Paragraph One
Shining unsteadily… the hall light cast a spell that descended the ward into darkness.
Short bursts of yellow flickering lights brought fragments of bloodied remains into view.
The sickening stench of rotten fish and copper blanketed the air.
Patients like famished mannequins, ghoulish and disassembled, were spread across the ward.
Blood dried onto their pearl skin like the new coat of crimson paint on the wall.
My legs struggled through the sea of bodies, the cuffs of my uniform pants dripped with blood.
Aside from the beating of my heart, not a muscle would move.
Such a sweet metallic pungency filled my nose.
Heavy and festering, I knew the scent would never leave.
Desperate screams of tormented strangers fill my head.
My limbs shake when I tried to make each of my steps as light as possible.
With each new step, the pace of my beating heart intensifies.
Dark hues of crimson are plastered over the walls, with heads strung up on the walls like trophies.
Curiously, I edge closer and closer towards the end of the ward.
The buzzing sound of the light intensifies as my steps become faster in pace.
Crackling with each inch I move.
Crackling with each step I take.
Crackling as if I’m stepping on glass.
Bones create a trail that becomes more distinct.
Scratching noises coming from the storage room, abundant in tools.
Various nail guns are hung on the wall.
Inside, a trail of blood-stained bones leads to a pentagram made of intestines.
Droplets of blood trickled down onto my face, travelling further down my body until it got to my fingertips.
I sensed a presence, dark and cold, pulling me towards the door.
I stopped and stared at the figure in front of me.
Devilish.
It looked almost… dead.
Three gargantuan horns plunged out of the creatures head; each with a different shape on them.
I try to comprehend the symbols before it attacks.
I let out the loudest possible scream, but it is not enough.
The air-dried out my lungs and throat as I inhaled deeper, faster.
I stopped walking and began to run.
But something stopped me.
The ground began to rumble and shake crazily.
Severed toes and fingers slowly began to lift off the grimy floor.
They span and shook as more and more parts lifted off the ground.
As they began to assemble, I knew there was no getting out of this.
I tiptoed towards room seven, but I too began to float in the air.
Suspended among different body parts, I could feel my heart starting to pound; sweat began to pour out of my forehead.
I felt something holding me.
No person was in sight.
There it was again, the devilish spirit.
Clutching onto my face; the spirit began to chant an unknown phrase
"gAZZY BAAA WAAAAAAA", “gAZZY BAAA WAAAAAAA”, “gAZZY BAAAA WAAAAAAA”.
I let out scream after scream before the spirit itself began to settle me down.
It grabbed my face before I could say anything and attempted to get its mouth around my head.
I screamed as I grabbed a nail gun off the wall next to me and aimed it towards the three-horned creature.
I’d never used a nail gun before so the task facing me sent multiple minuscule shivers down my spine.
I needed to live, I HAD to live.
I took the nail gun and aimed it at the centre of the forehead of the creature.
My forefingers and my thumb squeezed the gun together to shoot a singular nail.
Then another.
Soon another.
A singular nail was launched into the beady eyes of the creature.
Muffled screams escaped my mouth as the creature leant forward.
Closer and closer.
The world started spinning in my mind.
My vision went black.
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